Drill baby drill (or why I am getting married to Sarah Palin)

My bride to be Sarah Palin (pictured in a parallel universe)

For those of you who are asking what’s a guy like Ped doing falling in love with a gun toting, creationist, climate-change denying neo-con like Sarah Palin, let me just tell you she is a dream come true. But first of all let me set the premise right (this is the premise in my head). In order for me to marry Sarah Palin a few changes to the physical reality, as we know it, have to take place which I believe them to be very much possible and plausible:

-- We are living in a parallel universe where I was born in Alaska to a father who is a Grizzly bear hunter and a mother who collects Caribou skull
-- I enjoy moose hunting with my wife
-- I am 6’2” and have never left Alaska
-- I am very good looking (no change there from the real world)
-- I am amazingly intelligent (again, no change)
-- Women are dying to go out with me (this could happen in a parallel universe, seriously)
-- She is not married or engaged to anyone
-- We went to the same high school where I was the captain of the football team and she was my prom date

So now that we know the premise let me tell you why I think she is a good match for me:

-- She is strong (I love it!)
-- Not afraid to fight back (yeah baby!)
-- She believes in creationism. Ok, have you looked at her? She is quite a creation, don’t you think?
-- She doesn’t believe in climate change: so OK, let’s see. I can easily deny climate change as long as we’re together, after all there’s still about 10% of the scientific community that is not sure. I just don’t know why I feel like the temperature is rising every time I see her (is it just me? or is it global warming? I guess we’ll never know)
-- She wanted to name the bridge to nowhere a bridge to Ped’s heart. Cheesy maybe, but true.
-- Every time she lowers taxes my heart starts pounding.
-- She may be drilling offshore oil, but she is drilling my heart onshore.

So as you can see this is love at first sight, a match made in heaven. All I need is a new reality to make it happen. Drill baby drill.