Monday, July 11, 2016

The Many Perils of Dating a Woman Subsequent to Brexit and the Many Challenges This Exit Presents to the Future of European Union at a Time When Russia’s Aggressive Response to the US Hegemony in the Middle East and North Africa Is Creating Unknown Geo-Political Uncertainties with Direct Impact to the Future Economic Growth of G7 Countries

Hey! I'm right here right  by Vladimir Knight Statue
As I start crossing the corridor that separates the warring factions I have a grin on my face; kind of laughing at how I got here; I mean quite literally here, in Kiev, Ukraine, about to meet someone for the first time.


I was about to go on a long awaited vacation for some quite time and soul searching when my phone rang. It was one of the contractor’s in our office,

"Pedram, do you mind if I talk to you?”, in a strong but sweet Russian accent

“Of course”. Is everything OK?”
“Oh, yes, everything ok. Just want to speak to you in private about something”
“OK, just give me a few minutes and I meet you in the conference room”. 

I assumed the worst. I had hired him almost a year ago and was a very technically strong resource whom I feared was about to quit at the worst possible time. I meet him in the conference room. We both sit down and he starts to talk,

“You have to forgive me Pedram, I really hope I am not out of place saying this but I’ve worked with you for almost a year and I really feel like you are also my friend”
“No worries, and thank you for trusting me so much but give it to me straight, you’re about to quit aren’t you?
“Quit? Oh, no! you have this all wrong! It is not about that at all”

Relieved I sigh out loud and say, “thank God, because this would have been the worst time. So what is it?”
“Well, that’s why I had to apologise first. I found out you were going to Kiev and my wife knows this absolutely wonderful, sweet, beautiful woman whom she’s known since high school and I wanted to see if you’d be OK meeting with her while you’re there”

I was surprised. To be honest I was shocked. I thought, “am I getting to the point that random people now approach me and want to set me up with their friends and colleagues?” So I said, “Vladimir, this is really quite nice of you but I really think this is not the best idea”

“No, no just listen. I won’t even ask what happened there, it is completely up to you. I won’t be so presumptuous as to think you will discuss meeting her. I just think, well, to be honest I was surprised you were not married; I mean you are such a gentleman. Since my wife met you at the office Christmas party she is constantly asking me if you are with someone. So, I only say this as a colleague and hopefully a friend, that this may be worth one hour of your time while you’re in Kiev”

I tried to be non-committal and left the meeting somewhat amused. I was thinking the only one at this point who hasn’t tried to set me up with someone is Kim Jung Un, and that, for obvious reasons (I think).

So a few days go by and all of a sudden I get a message from Vladimir in my gmail account with a few pictures of his wife’s friend. I took a look and my first reaction was: “Wow! There is definitely a situation there in Easter Europe and European Union expansion into a former Soviet republic can undoubtedly have a negative impact on East-West relations” (as you can imagine, this is not really what I thought but to keep things clean let’s say that’s what went though my mind).

I thought to myself, “hmmm! well, how bad can it be? I mean I’ve experienced dating Persian girls with their check lists, their “don’t let anyone see us’s”, “I may be with you but no one should know’s”, and ‘’it’s not me, it’s you’s’’ (side note: everyone knows); White girls with their baggage from previous break-ups enough to keep a fully automated airport baggage handling system busy for days, and their ‘’it’s not you, it’s me’s’’ (my advice: get over it); Asian girls and their confusion about cross-ethnic dating, their ‘’it’s not me and it’s not you, I don’t know what this means’s”, and their obsession with cartoon inspired accessories AT FORTY! (news flash: really not cute when you’re past sixteen). So, how bad this idea can be? Really! It can’t possibly be worse. As a matter of fact, I am positive it won’t be worse.

A couple of days later I asked Vladimir to give me her contact details. Just before leaving for Kiev I messaged her to set a date to meet up. She replied back with her personal phone number and the suggested venue and then I suggested the day and time.

Three weeks go by and I am almost at the end of my vacation. A few days before leaving for Toronto, I get ready to meet her. As I am about to leave the hotel room I turn on the TV and hear that police in Kiev is expecting demonstrations in the streets near downtown between pro-Russian and Ukrainian rival factions. I pause for a few seconds thinking this may be my queue to cancel the whole thing. Surprisingly, I get a message from her at the exact same time asking if I still want to meet as the city may be a bit tense. All my doubts go away. I text back that I’d be there as agreed. I mean, let’s be honest, I went to Iran and got arrested by morality police four times and survived, so dating under extreme circumstances isn’t exactly alien to me.

I leave the hotel room and take a cab to the address where we were supposed to meet.
As I start to look around for the coffee shop in question I can hear the shouting and yelling of the crowd as the two sides start converging towards the same point with some swinging batons and sticks in the air. The police form two parallel human walls on the two sides of the intersection to keep the demonstrators from getting into an all out war. I start stepping back towards the wall about 30 yards away from the pro-Russian demonstrators. There is a big round-about in the middle of intersection with water fountains still shooting up in the air. It is getting a bit breezy. It is 7 PM, cloudy and fumes from canisters making the visibility harder. I move a bit further to my left to get a clearer view of the coffee shops across the expansive, eight lane street.

All of a sudden, I see Lyuda waving at me from afar and pointing to her cell phone. I look at my phone and realize that because of the noise and mayhem around me I’d missed 6 calls from her. I try calling back but can’t place a call, all the lines are busy. So I text her, “I am coming across”. At this point, I hear a couple of gunshots and I duck instinctively. The police are really pushing back hard to keep the demonstrators from invading the square. She texts back,

“Are you sure? I am used to this but it may be dangerous for you. I mean specially because you don’t look Russian and there are gun shots and bullets flying around”

I keep silent for a couple of seconds and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, “I dated Persian girls”

She responds, “Oh! OK. You should be OK then”

So I wait for a few seconds to make sure I can make it across the round about in a quick dash. I make a run for it and in the process I am pretty sure I beat the 50-yard Olympic record, if there was one. As I begin to run all my previous dates and set ups begin to flash before my eyes: the woman who was going over a questionnaire on our first date; the one who said I was too nice to be genuine; the one who wanted an open relationship; the narcissist; the femme fatale;... (at this point you are thinking, “boy he knows how to pick them!”)

As I get closer to the other side I slow down. She walks up to me laughing,
“This is quite a first meeting!”
“You’re telling me!” I say as I try to catch my breath
“So should we go in?”
“Absolutely…”

The Police were beginning to take control of the square and the fumes were beginning to clear up. There were still sporadic aerial gunshots being heard but the worst seemed to have been over.

As our encounter continued I couldn’t help but think about the many perils of modern day dating, particularly in the current geo-political environment. There are many reasons why finding your perfect match is more difficult now than before: climate change, Guantanamo and ISIL to name a few. But despite all these challenges one can always have hope for a better future, not so much for others but for oneself.

I just hope everything is resolved before I have to appeal to Kim Jung Un’s good senses.